Have you ever felt like the shoes you were asked to wear were too big to fill? I am referring to the Imposter Syndrome. I was thrown into a project quite accidentally as a 27-year-old young man, engaged to give my first large group public speaking to 100 participants in senior management simply because my boss could not make it, and there was no other replacement. They were all much older than myself and I certainly felt a bit like a fake then…nervous pit in my stomach, fear of forgetting my content or not sounding credible, …I even raced to the nearest pharmacy in search of grey hair dye to look older and therefore more experienced! And the response from the lady at the counter was one I’d never forget…she asked why I needed grey dye when people were trying to darken their hair!
Happily, I did not fall flat on my face and the audience did not walk out after 10 minutes; and as cliché as it may sound, as I worked on honing my presentation skills, that nagging feeling of being an “imposter” grew less over time, until it no longer felt any different whether I was presenting to 20 or 200 people. Thinking back on this journey from dilettante to seasoned speaker, it was a combination of “fake it till you make it” and some concrete action steps that paved the way for me:
- Acknowledge your strengths. Look at what you do know and what you are good at, recognizing that self-doubt is normal but may not reflect true reality.
- Failure is feedback. Reframing from negative to positive was only a temporary solution. I needed to bite the bullet, and every piece of negative feedback became frank information that was necessary for my growth.
- Seek support from trusted peers or mentors. Talk openly about your feelings and be curious about seeing their valuable perspectives. Recognising that you aren’t the best out there and that many are better, is essential because truly, there are so many fantastic speakers out there. This is where great wisdom comes from.
- Practice self-compassion. Accept that the pursuit of perfection is an unending goal. Every time you think you are there, you will end up recognising there is a lot more to do. Dust off mistakes and move on after gleaning the lessons you needed to learn.
- Set realistic goals and celebrate progress. It takes time to build expertise, so manage your own expectations and keep reinforcing your confidence with every job well done.
- Authenticity resonates with audiences. It is courageous to be vulnerable and it is okay to tell stories of my limitations and challenges. It helped build my confidence because I knew I did not have to be perfect and no one was expecting it either.
Overcoming imposter syndrome has been pivotal in my journey as a public speaker. It liberated me from self-doubt, allowing me to connect to my audience with an authentic voice, and understand that adding value has nothing to do with perfection. This has been a big part in what has sustained me in the last 27 years of my career as an EQ and Enneagram professional, and I hope it will help you on your journey as well.
